Donkra...Zebkey...wait, what?

Apparently the correct term I'm looking for is "Zedonk" - a hybrid mix of a zebra and a donkey.  How the hell would a zebra and a donkey mate you ask?  Good question.  The answer can be found most recently at the Chestatee Wildlife Preserve in northern Georgia.  "Well, Georgia, that explains it" -you may be thinking and I wouldn't necessarily argue with that logic but apparently this isn't totally out of the question.  This happens enough that there's a damn Wikipedia page dedicated to it.  

'Not only does it spook easily but it can also carry all your shit up a mountain.

This most recent occurrence is detailed in this gainesville times article.  The preserves founder and general manager, C.W Wathen (strong name by the way) said that in all his 40 years of running the preserve and having the animals running the fields together, he'd never seen anything like it. 

Mr. Wathen then goes on to specify that this particular zedonk displays the instincts of a zebra...to which I say - how the hell can you tell?  If it sees a lion approaching it runs like hell?  Apparently donkey foals will typically lay on their side sunning themselves - but this one sits up alert all the time as if it were scanning for predators.   

 Mr. Wathen specializes in - white tigers (genetically inferior animals that would have almost zero chance of survival in the wild) but contends that this may be one of the most unique creatures ever born on his preserve.  In a few weeks the foal will be allow to roam the 25 acre non-profit with the rest of the animals.  

The story ends with this amazing quote:

“We keep all the animals fed really well, so a lot of the animals that would normally be predators in the wild run together in the same areas here,” Wathen said. “In the wild they are competing for food, but here they don’t have to compete, so there’s no fighting.”

What? you let camels and donkeys and zebras run around with panthers and tigers?  Maybe you keep the carnivores and the herbivores separated - just in case.  I don't care how well fed you keep big cats, they still have instincts to hunt and need that physical stimulation to keep them sane and healthy.  I can't believe that dude keeps all his critters together but admittedly, they do things differently in backwoods Georgia.

I'm now inspired to investigate what other weird hybrids are on display for our viewing pleasure in this wide world of genetic manipulation...perhaps a topic for an in-depth report to come.

How "Now That's What I Call Music" gave me an aneurysm.

Playlists are something that I take very seriously and take a fair amount of pride in.  From the time I was 10, I've been a huge fan of the mix-tape. I would pull out the vinyl versions of Journey "Escape" and Air Supply "whatever the hell that one album was called" and write down on a pad of paper how long "open arms" was listed as and then add up the time so I could be sure to fill up the 45 minutes on one side of the tape with very little downtime.  This attention to detail continued into the digital age and the introduction of cds.  I'd still use the calculator to make sure I had just the right amount of music - and that the songs conveyed the appropriate message.  Itunes made that job so much easier.

I have been fortunate enough to have been asked by some close friends to make a playlist for their wedding.  They are getting married in small town Iowa and there is some concern that the local DJ that they've hired may not have the sort of tunes people will want to hear when they want to shake their respective booties.  Having a general fondness for pop music, they thought I would be a good candidate to put together a CD or 2 for them to share with the DJ (because they are fairly confident that if I were to give him the songs in any other format - jump drive, an iPod, etc.- that he wouldn't know what to do with it).  I was very pleased and promptly got to work on it.  It was fairly clear early on that I was going to need to acquire some more music to make sure this playlist was of the proper quality for this occasion. 

I ventured onto Amazon and started perusing the "Now That's What I Call Music" for the past 20 years - great source of songs that you had completely forgotten about.  Now, the dance songs from the late 80's and the majority of the 90's were all fairly innocuous.  C&C Music Factory "Gonna Make You Sweat" is a song sure to get Aunt Betty and your 15 year old niece out on the dance floor.  Great.  As I moved into the late 90's and early 00's there was a swift transition towards much...shall we say...more vulgar and questionable language.  Will this fly in rural Iowa? 

Now, mind you, these songs are bad ass dance jams.  "What's Luv" by Fat Joe and featuring Ashante before she made it big?  Great beat.  But you know how that song starts out? Fat Joe says "Put the fucking mike on."  Yikes.  Nelly's "Hot in Herre" is no saint either.  Fortunately he's rapping quick enough that most of his more questionable for mixed company lines are slightly more difficult to discern - but the chorus of "so hot in here I want to take my clothes off" might be a little risque.  Then we have Fifty with "In da club" which is also harder to catch the language but he's not shy with dropping "fuck" whenever he feels it.  The last case study for my playlist experiment is Jay-Z's "Can I Get A" which is one of my favorite songs of that era...and is filled with the language that I'm all of a sudden very conscious of.  This is very unfortunate.

How does one reconcile the need to get down with the need to respect some people's desire to not hear "fuck" "bitch" and "nigga" at frequent intervals?  I mean, really, you can only have so much Miley Cyrus before people contract diabetes.  And although "YMCA" is a suitable standard - nobody in the wedding remembers when that song was popular.  People dance to the music that was popular when they were in school - both high school and college- because that's when people do the most dancing.  The best dance songs of our youth were really disrespectful and I loved it - still do actually.  I can, in good conscience only put so many pop-rock songs in the mix.  "Jessie's Girl" and "Your Love" are great songs but f-me, they can't carry the whole load.  I need heavy hitters like "The Humpty Dance" and "My Milkshake".  I mean, it brings all the boys to the yard!

I know, I know, there are clean versions of all the songs I've referenced but then it seems like I'm giving in to the man.  I have to buy a whole new version of a song that's radio friendly so I have two version of every great dance jam - one that's acceptable for little susie and one that's good for the 20 & 30 somethings?  I'm not sure how I feel about this plan.

Regardless of how this playlist dilemma plays itself out - this was a wonderful exercise strolling down memory lane and refreshing my memory of all the great hip/hop and rap songs that I had shoved in the back of my brain. I've downloaded the playlist and listen to it on my commute and get jiggy on the metro when people aren't looking.  Great way to start the day.

Damn you compilation CDs and your memory jogging ways!  I fear my masterpiece of a playlist is going to be gutted and the soul ripped right out of it.  And this is why I'm having an aneurysm.

Reinventing Benji-San

It has been quite some time since I last entered the blogosphere.  Much has changed since my first ramblings after I arrived in the DC metropolitan area...changed jobs twice, moved three times and am finally getting my bearings and making this place my home.  Although I'm busier than ever with work and now grad school, I've decided to re-enter the blogging world to restart my rants and observations of the news and overall human condition and use this as my digital diary of sorts.  Keep friends and family up to date on the happenings in what can be a pretty chaotic but thoroughly enjoyable day to day existence.

I re-read some of my posts from my old blog and realized that I spent a large portion of my time angry at the news and espousing my view of the world from some sort of ivory tower - which is pretty easy when ranting "anonymously".  The goal for this new iteration is to be less angry and to inject more humor into things.  Now, don't get me wrong - I'll still rant frequently and my use of expletives will not doubt remain plentiful - but I hope to bring a more mature worldview to my blog posts and broaden my topic areas.  I'll still rant about what I find wrong with politics and news in general but I'll also look for news to share that has a human interest.  I hope to make observations that aren't quite so judgmental and be more objective.  We'll see how that goes.

Bear with me as I try to find my voice again.  It's been a while but I hope that this new blog will still entertain and make you think.  Thanks for stopping by and I hope you come back often to visit and comment freely.

Without further ado - let's get this party started.